


Slipping Away

by iridescentglow



Category: Gymnastics RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-28
Updated: 2011-09-28
Packaged: 2017-10-24 03:04:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridescentglow/pseuds/iridescentglow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At a training camp at the Karolyi Ranch a few weeks before 2011 Nationals, Rebecca finds a moment of solace with Alicia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slipping Away

_No signal._

Rebecca tried the bathroom. She tried the porch outside the dormitory-style cabins. She even tried standing on her bed and waving the phone over her head.

 _No signal._

She knew that she could use the landline in Martha's office to make her call. Except she really, really didn't want to do that. She wanted to sit in a corner, call home, and cry into her cell phone until she ran out of tears.

She stared at her phone's blank screen for the 20th time.

 _No signal._

Rebecca stepped out of her cabin, into an early evening filled with gauzy sunshine and still heavy with the day's heat. She held her phone out in front of her, checking for signal. She tried to figure out in which direction the nearest town lay, but the Karolyi Ranch felt so isolated that it was close to impossible to tell. In the end, she picked a direction at random and began to walk, eyeing her phone like a diviner dowsing for water.

She was so intent on watching for a flicker of signal that she failed to see Mackenzie enter her periphery until it was too late to try and avoid her. Mackenzie began to speak – something about a movie night with the rest of the girls – but all Rebecca heard was _wah wah wah wah wah_. The concentration required to keep her face blank and her eyes dry didn't allow her to converse like a human being.

"I have to make a phone call," said BeccaBot, studiously avoiding Mack's gaze.

 _Okay, come find us when you're done_ , Mack might have said, but Rebecca wasn't listening.

Mackenzie, with her tan and her stories of college life. Mackenzie, with her hit routines and big smiles. Mackenzie, content in her mediocrity and happy just to be in the mix. Becca's irrational surge of hatred for Mack didn't last more than a moment, but she hurried onward anyway, worried her expression might crack.

A few minutes' more walk took her away from the Ranch's main buildings – away from the site of her disastrous verification today – into rolling farmland. She climbed a slight incline, hoping the elevation might help her find a signal, but the screen remained stubbornly blank. She kept going, into a small copse of trees. The seclusion, the ability to hide – the trees appealed to her.

To her surprise, the copse opened up into a… lake? No, it was more like a pond, but ponds were usually ugly, and this was undeniably beautiful. The trees that overhung the lake-in-miniature cast dappled light onto the water's surface. And the low line of the water created a crescent of a sandy shoreline.

Just like in her earlier encounter with Mackenzie, Rebecca didn't register Alicia until she was just a meter away. Alicia was seated on a rock at the 'shoreline'. Her eyes were closed and her lips were moving, just barely forming audible words. Amid the litany, Becca caught the words, _give me strength, help me find peace_.

Rebecca hesitated and then turned away, planning to leave Alicia to her strength, her peace. However, her sneakers were loud against the foliage and Alicia's eyes opened at the sound of the disturbance.

"Oh, hey…" Alicia's voice was softer than usual, retaining the sound of a prayer. "You caught me," she continued, sounding more like herself, "I snuck away. Couldn't stand the idea of another Disney movie. I was just… meditating… talking to God… talking to myself…" She laughed. "I don't know. Talking to whoever will listen."

"I'll leave you alone," BeccaBot mumbled.

"No, stay." Alicia reached out and grabbed Rebecca by the wrist. She tugged at her arm lightly and Becca had no choice but to crumple onto the rock beside Alicia. When Alicia removed her hand, the skin of Becca's wrist felt hot, a little tingly.

Unlike Becca, who was dressed in the training camp standard of an athletic tank, shorts and running shoes, Alicia had evidently shed her gym persona the moment she'd left the training hall. She wore blue denim cut-offs with a white halter-neck bikini top. Her feet were bare, sandals discarded nearby, and her hair was loose.

Had Rebecca ever told Alicia how much she liked her as a brunette? No, probably not. Compliments didn't spring easily from Becca's lips. And, in truth, she'd been fearful she might reveal too much about how closely her eyes followed Alicia. The compliment might betray how she hoarded memories of the other girl's appearance; her smile, her laughter, the scent of her hair as it brushed against Becca in airport lines or during congenial group hugs.

"It's pretty here," said Rebecca, purposely looking straight ahead. "I like it."

She busied her hands unlacing her shoes, and then wriggled her bare toes into the silty mix of sand and dirt that formed at the water's edge. The slight grittiness felt good against the soles of her feet.

"Mmm, it's beautiful," said Alicia. "It reminds me of real _camp_ camp. The one I used to go to in New England when I was a kid. I used to write my parents these epic letters about how much I hated it at that camp, but I can't for the life of me remember why now. It was gorgeous there. Lakes you could swim in. Woods. I'd go back in a heartbeat.

"I feel like maybe I'll remember this place the same way," she continued, "when I'm old and I can't even do a back handspring. Right now, it's a total chore, but I bet I'll look back and wish I could be back here in Nowheresville, with Martha yelling in my ear."

Alicia smiled easily, but her relaxed expression faded immediately as Rebecca began to sob.

"Honey, what's wrong?" MamaBearAlicia asked, wrapping an arm around Becca.

"I feel like I'm"— _sob_ —"already gone and soon Martha's just gonna say"— _sob_ —"bye, see ya later, because I'm not in shape"— _sob_ —"and I don't feel like I'll ever be back to where I was"— _sob_ —"and it just hurts too much"— _sob_ —"and I feel like it's slipping away"— _sob_ —"I feel like _I'm_ slipping away…"

"Oh, Lord," Alicia murmured. Becca expected her to say more, to offer up the usual platitudes about finding strength in adversity, but she just tightened her arm around Becca and let her cry.

Becca cried until she ran out of tears.

Finally, she surfaced from her tears, and Alicia offered up a Kleenex, which Becca used to mop up the damage. When she'd finished, Alicia reached over and flicked a stray tear from Becca's face. Despite her misery, Becca felt the same heat/tingling at Alicia's touch.

Alicia pantomimed a wide smile, of which Becca was able to produce a pale echo. "Better?" Alicia asked.

"Better," Becca was forced to concede.

"You're Nastia, hon," Alicia said, after a moment's silence. "You'll bounce back to win it all. Maybe you don't know it, but I do."

"Jordyn," Becca muttered.

"You're Nastia," Alicia said again, "she's Shawn."

Despite Alicia's impish smile, Becca thought she detected a hint of sadness in her tone. The rumor at WOGA about Nastia and Alicia was low-grade but persistent. There was the we-have-a-secret vibe between the two of them; the stories from juniors who swore they saw them kissing in the locker room; plus Alicia's history of too-frequent visits to Plano. Of course, after Beijing, after the tour, after Nastia became the Fashionista and Alicia became the Comeback Kid, there were no more visits; no more secrets; no more I-swear-I-saw stories.

"Hey, stop that," said Alicia.

Rebecca didn't know what she was talking about until Alicia looked pointedly downwards. Becca realised she'd been hitting her left shin with her right foot, repeatedly, in a sort of rhythm. Just a nervous habit.

However, Alicia was frowning. "Seriously, stop it."

When Becca stilled her movement, Alicia kneeled down in the sand before her. She took Becca's calf in both hands and gently began to massage her left leg from her knee right down to her toes. Then she moved onto her right leg.

"Where'd your muscles go? You got stair rods in here," Alicia said as she worked.

Becca received near-daily massages at WOGA and at the Ranch, but those were no-nonsense jobs from physiotherapists. They usually hurt more than they healed. However, Alicia's hands were warm and gentle, kneading her muscles rather than prodding them. She knew exactly where to apply pressure, her thumbs finding magical spots at Becca's knee joint, her ankle, the arch of her foot. The release felt so good that Becca had to bite her lip to keep from whimpering.

When she had finished, Alicia bent down and placed a light kiss just below Becca's knee.

"You have to be kind to your body," she said, looking up at Becca intently.

Before she could stop herself, before she could overthink it, Becca reached out a hand to touch Alicia's cheek. Just the barest of caresses.

When Alicia didn't pull away from her touch, Becca fell to her knees, so that the two of them were eye to eye, close enough that she could feel Alicia's breath on her skin. When Becca moved to kiss her, Alicia stirred slightly but didn't react. Feeling a little desperate, a little unhinged, Becca pressed her mouth against Alicia's unresponsive lips for a long moment. Then she pulled back, waiting for a reaction.

Alicia was still for a few seconds and then, slowly, she licked her lips. She let out a sigh.

"Oh, Becca, what are you doing?" she asked softly, but Rebecca thought it sounded like she was asking herself the same question. _Oh, Alicia, what are you doing?_

Was it Becca's age? Did Alicia still think of her as a gawky Junior Team member? Or was the problem The Boyfriend – the one Alicia hardly ever talked about these days; whose picture had disappeared from her nightstand. No, she realized coldly, it was Becca herself who was the problem. Stupid, awkward, ugly Becca. Not a graceful, swan-like Gold Medalist; not Nastia; not—

But, despite her words, Alicia wasn't pulling away.

Her hands rubbed at Becca's bare arms, with the same gentleness she'd used to loosen the muscles in Becca's legs. One of her hands strayed to Becca's waist, to her rib cage, to her breast. Even through the layers of tank top and sports bra, it didn't take more than a brush of Alicia's thumb against Becca's breast to raise her nipple to a hard nub.

Hesitantly, Becca leaned forward to kiss Alicia again, and this time Alicia met her lips with a hungry kiss of her own. Alicia's mouth opened against hers, hot and wet and sweet.

As they kissed, Becca's clumsy hands found Alicia's breasts, feeling their weight, their warmth, through the thin fabric of her bikini top. As if guessing that Becca would not be bold enough to do so, Alicia broke their kiss for just long enough to reach up and untie the bikini's string halter at the nape of her neck. The fabric fell away and Alicia made an _mmm_ noise when Becca's hands cupped her bare breasts.

Alicia helped Becca out of her own clothes, kissing away her embarrassment about her naked body. Her tongue traced the place where the hard lines of Becca's stomach muscles met the soft mounds of her small breasts. Then her mouth travelled farther down her body. Alicia peeled Becca's shorts down over thighs and set to work between her legs. As Alicia's fingers and tongue gently opened her up, the whimper that Becca had supressed earlier could not be contained.

The first wave of orgasm washed over her and Becca looked up into the sky, which was dwindling into dark blue. She thought: _Be kind to your body. Be kind._


End file.
